As a bartender, I almost never allow my customers to see my frustration or annoyance with them. However, not all of us have self control, and we have all felt like slapping some of the idiots out there.
If you’ve bellied up to a bar and found yourself in one of the situations below, then I can almost guarantee you that your bartender had “Screw you,” at the tip of his tongue. Keep in mind that he doesn’t have to serve you, so mind your damned manners.
1. Order one drink at a time for your party of six.
Come on, really? Ask your friends what they want before the bartender gets to you. If he see’s you turn around to ask them, he’ll move on to the next customer.
2. Snap your fingers, yell “Hey!”, whistle, or shake your glass at the bartender.
Guess what, now you’ll be waiting longer than if you had waited patiently. If the bar is packed, then he is making drinks for people who were there before you. He heard your jingles, but now he’s gonna ignore you completely.
3. Glare at the bartender because you’ve been waiting for all of 2 minutes, then not know what the hell you want when he gets to you.
This one pretty much makes you a certified asshole.
4. Act insulted when the bartender asks for your friends ID, but not yours.
Get over it, you look old enough, grandma.
5. Bitch about the prices of the drinks.
Look, the prices aren’t going to magically change because you’re complaining. If you’re broke then you shouldn’t be spending money on alcohol, keep your tight ass home.
6. Order drinks at the bar then go to your dinner table without paying.
Yeah, we can transfer it to your dinner tab, but ask the bartender first. Bar tabs and dinner tabs are separate. How often do you go to the grocery store, shop for your stuff then walk out the front door without paying, expecting the cashier to walk through town looking for you, then bill you?
7. Ask for more liquor in your “weak” drink.
If you’re a raging alcoholic, the bar doesn’t have to support your habit. Putting “extra” liquor in your drink costs the bar money. Ask for a double, pay for it, and shut the hell up.
We as bartenders, frequently take lunch and dinner tables along with our duties behind the bar. Over the past year or so, I’ve run into the situation where the food order has been incorrect at the fault of the customer.
Keep in mind, this was never revealed during the shift. The customer is always right. However… it happens sometimes.
If you, as a customer, get the order wrong, admit it. You will not get slapped on the wrist by your server or the manager. We will correct your order as soon as possible. We want to make you happy because, theoretically, you’ll leave a better tip if you are.
In fact, if you say things like, “This was supposed to be without cheese or onions,” when you actually did NOT specify, you’re setting up your server or bartender to be reprimanded by the management. Not very cool just to save you from embarrassment.
It’s a win win if you just admit that you were a moron and forgot to ask for what you really wanted. Don’t blame us for your fuck ups.
#1 pisses me off the most. Even as a customer I wouldn’t get the bartender’s attention without knowing exactly what my order is and be ready to spit it out like you’re being timed. Great bartenders want your order just as fast as you want your drinks. Give a little, get a little.
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